The Funny Thing Is...

In my life I have always been able to see the humor in things, even when things are hard or formidable. My father told me that it was one of my greatest qualities, thanks Dad. Now when things are the hardest, in my retail line of work, I would like to take time to appreciate the funnies.

- One of my cashiers pressed the Canadian currency button instead of the credit card button without realizing. In red at the bottom she notices, that instead of saying credit/debit it reads Canadian/foreign. The gentleman had already swiped his card, so, from across the store, I hear her ask, "Is your card Canadian?" "What?" asks the man. "Are you trying to pay with Canadian money?" She restates. As the manager, I swiftly approached the register, trying not to laugh, and hoping that this customer was not angry. I whispered in her ear what had happened, and told her, "When in doubt press escape!"

- My boss broke his finger on the floor trying to get a Sky Ball to bounce off our 30 or so foot ceiling twice. The camera caught it all, and it is quite good.

- I make many word stumbles, my boss calls it Donaese. I have many physical stumbles, my boss told me that the company took out an insurance police in my name for anything that I happen to break. I have many writing errors, my boss told me that staples has a extra large quantity of white out that he orders just by saying my name. I enjoy our banter, because as bad as I might be, I have video footage of him breaking his finger.

- Lastly customers making up names for the items they want-

-Flippy Table = Inversion Table

- Ropey Ball = Ladder Golf

- Soccer Ball Holder Box Thing = Goal Net (That one took me a while)

Favorite line from a customer:

"No you can't have my zip code. I don't want your company stalking me, or harassing me"

Sometimes I would like to tell people that thousands of people have their same zip code... but I must be customer friendly. So I laugh after they leave the store, that is my relief in life. What is your's?

Goodbye Toby

Toby you were a very good pet, and I loved you dearly. You helped some good people through difficult times. I will miss you, and I am sure Ziva will too. She has been waiting by your empty cage since you passed, meowing. Farewell Tobster.

The Lost Kitty

I have a darling pet cat named Ziva. I love her very much and get very concerned when she does not report home at her usual times. She usually comes inside around 9pm, eats, and then goes to sleep either by our hamsters cage or with Dr. Who and I. Last night she did not come home. I was concerned, but thought that she might like a night out, since she was inside most of the day. When she does stay out she will usually meow between 5:30-6 am to be let in. This morning she did not meow. I called for her before I went to work, but she did not come. At this point I became very worried, and I thought about where she could be, and what could have happened all day at work. When I came home I expected her to be in the house, because Dr. Who came home for lunch today. When I exited my vehicle I thought I heard distraught meowing, I entered my home expecting to see my Ziva, I knew that she had to be in there. The untouched bowl of food told my mind otherwise, but my heart made me search the entire house. No kitty. I returned to my back door, and called for her but no sound came to my ears, no kitty came to my step. Sadly I returned inside, and did what I always do when I am upset. I took a bath. After my bath I decided to call again, this time I was very loud calling to my lost feline friend. I heard her voice, faint at first but growing louder and more disconcerting with each call. I followed my ears, which led me all over the place, due to my inability to properly discern direction from sound. Finally, at the corner of my yard, heard her. But it could not be, how did she get in there? Was she trapped inside the neighbors garage, or behind it? At 8:55 pm I went to the neighbors front step, preparing my speech in my mind. "I am sorry it is so late..." "I think my cat is stuck in your garage..." "Unless you have a cat, then it is stuck in your garage..." I didn't know what to say, it is awkward to meet a neighbor for the first time because your cat is trapped in their garage.

I knocked, no answer. I looked for the doorbell, but I could not find one. Disheartened I turned and left. I proceeded to call Dr. Who from inside my own abode. He asked me if I had rung the bell, defeated, I said no, but there were lights on in the house. Someone had to be home! Working up my courage, I strode over to the door and searched until I found the bell, which was painted the same color of the house, and it was very dark outside. Confidently, I rang that bell. I was going to save my cat, whose dissonant cries were becoming louder by the moment. After no answer, I turned to leave and noticed that the neighbors across the street, were watching me. I walked, self-consciously, home. Once inside I called my father, and asked him if I could be arrested for breaking into someone's garage to save my kitty. He laughed at my plight, and said as long as I didn't break anything, and didn't get caught I should be fine. His words of wisdom strengthened my resolve. I stealthily crept into the neighbors drive, wearing all black with white tennis shoes, keeping a steady eye on the peeping neighbors across the road. I came upon the garage door, and the motion sensor lights popped on. My heart rate quickened, my breath caught, my legs froze. That's when I saw my precious kitten, wide eyes peering through the window.

I approached the window and pressed my palm against the glass. Ziva pawed at the window, and then started rubbing her body against it, meowing forlornly. Tears welled in my eyes, I needed to save my cat. I tried to pry the screen from the window, but it would not budge. I walked around the garage and found a door, but it was locked. I walked away from the garage, I needed a plan and some knowledge from the internet. Ziva's wild eyes cried out to me to save her from this prison with out her kit & kaboodle. My heart ached, and a lump grew in my throat.

Back inside my home I Googled "how to pick a lock". While reading, Dr. Who called me and tried to calm me down. I decided that I would not do anything drastic until Dr. Who returned home from work, then I would break in with his know-how. I sat down to my computer, and started blogging about my adventure to calm my spirits.

Shortly after, I heard the door knob jiggle, the keys jangle, and Dr. Who entered the house, and then went back out. A few minutes later he came back in, and was holding Ziva in his arms. Elated, I hurriedly asked him how did you save her so swiftly? He put her down, and said, "The lady was getting into her car and came out of the garage, and Ziva came out. When she tried to close the door, Ziva tried to go back in, and the lady shooed her out, and I called her. Then she came trotting home. We have the stupidest cat ever."

I love you Ziva and I am glad you are home, and I love you Dr. Who for inadvertently saving our kitty!

This Man

Who is this man, that stands beside me,

Lifting me up where I chose to fall?

The strength of a god, the touch of a kind friend.

Emanating power through the hand that he did lend.

I close my eyes, blindly stumble, and fall again.

This time I reach up to find my heavenly friend.

He lifts me up and pulls me in his arms.

He carries me through this never-ending storm.

I look down, wounds in his hands and feet the same.

Then I look up, as the Son of God he came.

The picture turns as he carries me.

The weight of the world drives him to his knees.

In solemn prayer, at the base of a large tree,

He plead for our souls and bled in Gethsemane.

And he calls to us, as we stumble and as we fall,

"Lean upon me child I have been through it all."

"Step by step I made my way,"

"As you do this very day."

"I know you pain and struggle now,"

"But as you remain faithful, I am proud."

"Look not to the world but unto me,"

"And soon you shall see,"

"My hand in your life every day."

"Remember, I am the truth, the light, the way."

A Disclosure Moment

The Mirror

I see a me behind the glass,

In a different world.

Looking at me, smiling at me,

There are questions I'd like to ask.

Who are you now? Who are you going to be?

Are you going to make the best of what you see?

There are a million opportunities out there for you.

Hopes, dreams, and passions you must pursue.

Always knowing that you are great.

Changing directions, learning new things. It's never too late.

Becoming something other than what the world deems.

In the smog that polluted minds create, your future gleams.

Begging you to create something better.

Not being encumbered by what you lack, in the shackles of deficiency fettered.

Free yourself from this lackadaisical demeanor.

Why plague yourself with this nonsensical fever?

In the hours of adversity, and in these most difficult times

The truest forms of ourselves we find.

And of the things in which we are most unsure,

If we but seek the uncertainty dissolves, and leaves a truth bright and pure.

A truth so pure that none can deny.

A truth so life changing if we but just abide.

I see a me behind the glass,

In a different world.

Looking at me, happy with me,

For I am answering the questions asked.

I know who I am, and who I am going to be.

I am making the best of what lies before me.

I am doing my best to change the world.

My utmost potential ever being unfurled.

Everyday doing everything I can,

Making something better and strengthening who I truly am.

"The Fiddler on the Roof" Moment

Frequently I find myself asking Dr. Who, "Do you love me?" I am answered one of two ways. The first being, "Of course I love you." The second, "You ask that question a lot." The Doctor will always tell me what I want to hear, he is good to me in that way. Recently I had surgery and am not able to do very much for myself and I have had to rely upon Dr. Who, who is not really a doctor, for many things. He has been my railing while trying to walk down the stairs, my water boy when I am thirsty in the middle of the night, my chef for every meal of the day, my comedian when I am bored, my shoulder when I am sorrowful, my optimism through the pain. In truth I do not have to ask if he loves me, every day he shows that he does.

From Fiddler on the Roof

"Do You Love Me?"

(Tevye)

Do you love me?

(Golde)

Do I what?
(Tevye)
Do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love you?
With our daughters getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion
(Tevye)
"Golde I'm asking you a question..."
Do you love me?
(Golde)
You're a fool
(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?
(Tevye)
Golde, The first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared
(Golde)
I was shy
(Tevye)
I was nervous
(Golde)
So was I
(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde
Do you love me?
(Golde)
I'm your wife
(Tevye)
"I know..."
But do you love me?
(Golde)
Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought him, starved with him
Twenty-five years my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?
(Tevye)
Then you love me?
(Golde)
I suppose I do
(Tevye)
And I suppose I love you too
(Both)
It doesn't change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know